Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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