I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
