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I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
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