Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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