you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
