I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
