Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
