My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
