bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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