I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
