the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Say something about gay babies.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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