we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
