she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
