I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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