those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I think my moral compass just broke
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
