i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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