My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
