Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
