yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
