This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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