if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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