I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
