im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
