no, he came in my armpit
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
