just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
