I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
