Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize