Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
