One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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