I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
