the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
