Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
