Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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