Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
