my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
