I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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