no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
