i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
