if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's blow job season.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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