i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
