How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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