I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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