TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize