we have pet lesbian snakes
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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