honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
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I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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