So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
