Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
