...so i touched it.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Randomize
