According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
