my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
