she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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