What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
