this is something i pride myself on being below average for
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
