We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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