You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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