your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just found puke in my bra..
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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