What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
