mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
