she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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