I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
