so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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