id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
