I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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