Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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