i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
